


Always

by hextrals



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: M/M, Mentions of past abuse, Multi, general sadness, i hope u like my first go round with mylex, it's sad then it's soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-23 19:01:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18555868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hextrals/pseuds/hextrals
Summary: after caulfield the boys have to pit stop at an hotel. theyre all stuck in one room with one bed. maybe some opening up happens.





	Always

**Author's Note:**

> i promise i love michael and i dont actually want him to suffer. he deserves so much love and care but it was just the easiest thing to grab at and work with. forgive me.
> 
> also this is dedicated to my lovely friend kit aka @hearteyesguerin

“Are you serious?” Michael asked, an annoyed look on his face. “One room available in this whole damn hotel? And it only has  _ one fuckin’ bed _ ?” 

 

To say the man sitting behind the desk looked frightened would be an understatement. Michael couldn’t quite bring himself to care.

 

“Look man, I’m sorry but there’s no other available listings. I-I can check other locations but-”

 

“It’ll be just fine, thank you.” Alex interrupted, cutting Michael a hard glare. It had been a long day for everyone, especially after what they had found and subsequently lost at Caulfield. He knew Michael probably wanted to be alone right now and he also knew that that was not a good idea.

 

“You and Valenti can share the bed. I’ll sleep in-” Michael started to say.

 

“Funny joke, Guerin. Grab your stuff and come on, tomorrow is going to be long.” Kyle said, taking the room key and heading for the elevator. Michael huffed and begrudgingly followed the other men. 

 

“I’m showering first.” It wasn’t a question. It was the only thing that would keep him from telling the difference between the tears he was trying not to shed and the water falling on him from the shower itself. Alex and Kyle both nodded, moving into the elevator in silence. The ride up to their floor as well as the walk to the room was an awkward but not completely uncomfortable silence. 

 

Kyle opened the door to the room. Whatever they had been expecting, this wasn’t it. The room itself was fairly large with a king size bed pushed against the far wall. Michael wasted no time, quickly taking off his shoes and socks before tucking them in a corner. He moved into the bathroom and promptly shut the door, sliding down it slowly and releasing a shuddering, pained breath. The faucet handle turned so that the water would start and with that, tears began slipping down Michael’s cheeks.

 

Outside, a different scene was playing out. Alex had unhooked his prosthetic and put on a more lax pair of pants. The stump from the amputation had gotten intensely aggravated during his run to take cover and was going to continue to remind him of his blunder for many more hours. Alex sighed and leaned back on one side of the gigantic bed. 

 

“Is Guerin okay, Alex?” Kyle asked, changing into more comfortable clothes himself. He couldn’t wait to get all this grime off his skin. Something about Caulfield had really unsettled him. The way Michael had been acting. How everything seemed to trigger him-

 

“He met his mom today, Kyle, and then she died in that explosion.” it took every fiber of Alex’s being not to start crying at the thought. To finally meet the one person you’ve been looking for all your life just to have them taken from you in an instant.

 

“Oh my god.. I had no idea- do you think…”

 

“I think that right now he believes he doesn’t have anyone. Whenever I-” Alex swallowed painfully at the memory, “whenever I was going to try to get him to run with me. To get out he said a lot of things. Things he thought would make me leave him there to die alone. The most prevalent of which being that he- that he doesn’t love me.” To say that Kyle looked furious was an understatement.

 

“He did what? I swear when he comes out-”

 

“You’ll do nothing, Kyle. He doesn’t need to be attacked or interrogated or anything of the sort. He’s just not okay right now. All of his biological family- they died at that prison. He’s allowed to break.” Alex said softly, ignoring the throbbing ache he felt in his chest. Silence fell over them before Alex picked up on a soft, very broken noise. He grabbed his crutches and pushed himself over to the bathroom door. 

 

The sound was more clear, but now that he was sure as to what it was, Alex felt his heart break. Michael was crying. It wasn’t sniffles from what he could tell, it sounded more like body wracking sobs.

 

Which is exactly what it was. Michael had finished the important parts of his shower a while ago, washing his hair as well as the dirt from his body. However there were many things he needed to do that could not be done outside the safety of the locked bathroom.

 

The water was sweltering and bound to leave his skin sensitive and red but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He had held this in for far too long. Too many things pushed behind a dam that finally reached the brink. Over a decades worth of tears fell freely now, mixing seamlessly with the water from the shower. He felt endlessly broken. Shattered. His mother had died today and there was no one he could blame but himself. He spent another ten to fifteen minutes just crying in the hot water before finally bringing himself to shut it off and get out.

 

He dried off quickly and pulled his shirt over his head and his sweatpants over his legs. He was scrubbing his head with the towel when he walked out of the bathroom. Alex was reading a book, a line of concentration creasing his forehead, while Kyle tidied up another corner of the room. Michael could tell they were just trying to appear busy. It was obvious. Almost as obvious as the tear tracks that streaked down his face.

 

“Who’s next?” he asked, tossing the towel back into the bin in the bathroom. 

 

“We both used the public showers downstairs, didn’t want to make you get out before you wanted to. Seemed like you could use a good non restricted shower.” Alex replied, not looking up from his book. He wasn’t wrong and Michael was fairly certain he knew it. 

 

“Thanks, Alex.” He said, sitting at the foot of the bed. He tried not to stiffen when Alex moved closer. Tried not to think too much when he placed an arm around his shoulders. He tried.

 

“Can we talk about it?” Alex murmured, hesitantly holding his hand over Michael’s.

 

“Talk about what, private?” Michael responded, walls already building themselves skyward. He knew what Alex was referring to but he didn’t want to think about it. He hated the way the words had tasted in his mouth.

 

“ _ I don’t love you. I don’t.”  _ Alex’s voice was meek and tired and hearing the words he had said repeated back to him broke Michael even further, spreading the crack in his already shaken foundation. Michael pushed back the tears that had only just stopped falling.

 

“I didn’t mean it, Alex. I just wanted you to run- I wanted you to  _ live. _ To live without me because fuck- we all know you’d live better if I were gone.” The words felt like a slap in the face and Alex drew in a sharp breath.

 

“Michael, that’s enough.” Kyle said, sighing from his seat by the wall. “I don’t care what you think of me, but if you truly believe any of us would live better without you around then you’re absolutely wrong.” 

  
“Valenti-”

 

“I know you didn’t mean what you said to Alex back there, but you are the one person he never should’ve had to hear that from. Everyone knows how much you two feel for each other at this point.”

 

“Kyle, can we not do this now?” Alex said, words nearly drowned by Michael.

 

“Thank you for what you did today, Valenti. You may be a pain in the ass most of the time but- you saved me. You and Alex both.” Michael looked smaller than Kyle had ever seen him and he didn’t know what to do, so he did the only thing he could think of. He rested his hand gently over Michael’s left and sat next to him. 

 

Michael stiffened at the contact but didn’t move away. Alex moved too and sat on Michael’s otherside and leaned slightly on his side.

 

“You know we care about you, don’t you?” he whispered, curling his fingers into the hair at the nape of Michael’s neck. “I would never let you go alone.”

 

“You can’t just run headlong into everything though, Guerin. You’re bound to wind up hurt and it would kill m- Alex to see you that way.”

 

Michael shifted toward Kyle slightly. He couldn’t help the gentle smirk that was tugging at his lips.

 

“You’d be upset if I was hurt? So you actually-”

 

“Can we please not talk about it? It was a slip of the tongue.” Kyle said quickly, retracting his hand and moving slightly away from Michael. 

 

Michael tried not to look hurt and instead just pushed himself backward so he was laying down on the bed instead of sitting up. Alex shot Kyle a sharp look and subtly gestured towards the man who had now curled inward on himself.like a ball. Kyle sighed and leaned next to Michael.

 

“Michael… I’m sorry. I care about you. You’re a hot blooded mess and you’re temperamental as hell but I care about you and I’d hate to see you hurt.” his voice was soft and he said it so it was just between the two of them, a moment that wasn’t also Alex. A moment for just them. Then Alex was there on the other side of Michael and he didn’t know what to do.

 

Alex has a hand on Michael’s chest and Kyle has one on his shoulder, and they’re whispering sweet words and suddenly Michael is crying again. Silent, quiet tears. His body remains still this time though, the tears fall without obstruction. 

 

“Why are you two being so nice? I don’t-”

 

“If you’re going to say you don’t deserve it, then you’re wrong. We care about you, Guerin. We’re going to be there for you and give you what you need.” Kyle said, pushing a curl form the other man’s face. The gentle measure made the tears flow even more steadily.

 

“I was going to say I don’t understand.” Michael’s voice broke and he shrank in on himself further and then both Alex and Kyle laced their fingers with his. Kyle’s hand wrapping around Michael’s left made him flinch but he didn’t try to pull it away.

 

“I love you, Michael. You know I love you- that I’m  _ in love with you _ . Please know that I do this because of what I feel for you.” Alex kissed his cheek gently and moved slightly closer, not wanting to overstep anything. Kyle did the same, scooting closer and rested his head on Michael’s shoulder.

 

He couldn’t make the tears stop. He hated feeling vulnerable and bare but at the moment there was nothing he could do. 

 

“Michael…? Are you crying..?” Kyle asked worriedly, gently stroking Michael’s hair. All he could do was nod. He didn’t trust his voice right now. “Are we doing something wrong?”

 

“No! No, you’re not doing anything wrong I’m just not…” he didn’t quite know how to say what came next. “Used to kind intimacy. So this is a little uh- overwhelming.” he said in a small voice, his left hand tensing up. Alex looked like he was going to cry at the memory.

 

“Is there anything we can do? To ease the pain?” Kyle asked gently pressing a kiss to Michael’s temple. Michael shook his head. 

 

“Just- you guys just being here is good enough for me.” Michael said quietly, leaning into the boys on either side of him. 

 

“We’ll always be here for you Michael, you’re our family.” Alex said, kissing Michael’s forehead.

 

“Thank you… for everything.” Michael mumbled sleepily, tears drying on his cheeks. 

 

“Whatever you need Guerin, whenever you need it. Always.”

**Author's Note:**

> so. soft boys are soft and michael will cry at gentle intimacies. hope u enjoyed <3


End file.
